Picture of the Victory Monument at sunset from Belgrade, Serbia
(4 min read)
In my almost decade long journey of coaching and training, I have noticed an interesting trend amongst almost all my clients – they always at some point in time, confess to me, “Jane, I’m really scared. I can’t find the courage to take the first step.”
It can be anything related to what they want at that point in time. From making a career switch, mending broken relationships, changing their wardrobe styles to asking for a pay rise, the difficulty garnering courage is almost universally human.
I fully empathise with it. Why? Because I myself, had felt that same fear too. I self-talked myself to death, assessed my options, found myself getting obsessed with the possible negative outcomes, worried about how others might think, amongst other things. And surely, all that fretting is more than enough to put a desire off infinitely.
After I’ve become increasingly aware of my thought patterns and mechanics of how my brain functions (that essentially is part of Emotional Intelligence, something I’ll share another day), I’ve learnt a great deal on how to intervene my self-sabotaging thoughts and to actively steer my wheel in the other direction I want to go.
These days, I often get this question, “Jane, where do you find your courage from?”
Truth be told, I am still scared like crazy over many things. Friends and family will know how hopeless I am during horror movies and how silly things illogically freak me out like mad… However, I find my courage for things important in my life by choosing to focus on the positive perspectives instead of just the negative ones I see, and that has greatly propelled me to take actions leading towards the direction I want to go.
The thing is, I do not really find courage. It is merely a by-product from focusing on what I want to achieve and sticking to it regardless of what the surrounding noises (or distractions) tell me. Instead of focusing on the fear, I focus on the desire. Some people call it stubbornness. I call it tenacity :)
In a nutshell, you can still act courageously even though you feel scared. The fear doesn’t go away. You just choose to see the other possible outcomes there can be, thus allowing the courage to come.
Here are 3 simple steps I always use to find my courage, and I hope you will use them to find yours too.
1) Envision the outcome you want and how that will make you feel
I love envisioning processes. It gives you a peak into the possible outcomes you can have if you go for what you want. More importantly, you need to ask yourself the other big question – how will you feel when you get what you want?
If you can feel the overwhelming sense of fulfilment and happiness, you’ll naturally feel more motivated to take actions towards the goal. Goals and dreams are always fuelled by emotions. Remembering how you will feel when you achieve that goal will get you going, thus parking the fear aside.
2) Be aware that time doesn’t last forever
The old saying goes, “time and tide wait for no man”. The more you delay getting what you want, the more you spend one extra day feeling dissatisfied. Sadly, that’s how a lot of regrets are formed.
When you realise that time is rapidly slipping through your fingers, you will naturally feel the sense of urgency to go for what you really want and the courage will inevitably come.
3) Realise that you will never be truly ready, so let’s go do it now
The many successful entrepreneurs I’ve spoken to always gave me one similar advice which I feel is relevant to every goal we have, “Don’t wait for perfection. Just do it. You will never be truly ready.”
Realising that getting started is not about being 100% secured and ready, but a choice you make despite feeling unsure, is the key. When you see that there is no perfect moment, you will realise that there is no better time than now to find that boost of courage and take your first step.
Do you have something you have been wanting to achieve? Looking for the courage to take the first step? I will love to support you in your journey. Let's connect.